Planetarium

May 12, 2010 at 7:02 am | Posted in mmorpg, Star Wars: The Old Republic | 6 Comments
Tags: games, MMO, mmorpg, Star Wars: The Old Republic

Pew Pew

I’m sure a new planet will be revealed for Star Wars: The Old Republic soon, but I got to thinking about the 12 revealed so far. I’ve been to some of these planets previously, as many of us have through books, games, or film, and I guess I’m speculating about a few things. A goofy pros and cons list with no meaning whatsoever ought to reveal some hidden insights.

Tython: Where force users first came together to discuss what they had discovered of the Ashla, and then engaged in a war with disciples of the bogan. After the sacking of Coruscant the Jedi re-established here.

In Game: I think this is going to end up the sci-fi version of all the ruins you might see while traveling through middle earth, at least visually. Conceptually it’s the anti-Korriban.

Pros: Where it all started baby, how did it take this long for the Star Wars universe to end up here? It hasn’t really been involved in that much beyond a Darth Bane novel.
Cons: You know how in tv they introduce a cool and mysterious character, and as soon as you find out about his past and slowly erode all that mystery, he’s boring as hell? I’m not sure anyone should visit the birthplace of the Force, you’re undermining the whole effing universe here.

Korriban: The homeworld of the Sith species, and the original Sith Empire. Appearing over and over in Star Wars fiction, it has a complicated past. Suffice it to say that at the time of TOR it’s abandoned and even it’s tombs should be robbed and empty at this point. I mean I did steal a crap load of loot from the place.

In Game: It’s probably going to be a starting area for force users, and I’m thinking it will look just like it did in Knights of the Old Republic. I’m sure it’ll have a nice new spiffy academy and Czerka will be all over the place.

Pros: The giant monuments, dark caves, desert wastelands and pure evil emanating from the place might make for good atmosphere. And a great place to picnic.
Cons: Even a Sith Warrior can appreciate a grassy hillside, white clouds, and a blue sky. I hope it’s not too dreary.

Hutta: A putrid and disgusting experience for even the most seasoned of adventurers. And I’m talking about the Hutts! *rimshot* If each planet has a theme Hutta’s is Swamp.

In Game: Since Hutts are crime lords, I’m expecting virtually nothing but crime related quests. Maybe one or two related to freeing the native people of the planet from slavery at the hands of the Hutts. Oh and get ready for the constant environmentalism lectures, can’t wait. Bounty Hunter starting area I think. Poor sods.

Pros: Well at least there is a Swamp themed planet. Better than no swamp themed planet. At least it’s not Dagobah? The crime/swamp thing hasn’t really been done before. It’s also a planet that hasn’t often been visited, not that I can recall. Okay I’m reaching.
Cons: This will only be cool if there are Hutts who actually get off their asses instead of sitting there in a pile while they dish out quests. I want to see hutts moving around, not sitting on a dais like Jabba. Does anybody remember that Jabba died because he was to lazy to get the f up and move?

Ord Mantell: The go to planet if you want to mention a far off world without actually going there. Thanks for starting that tradition Solo. It’s government is corrupt, and the planet is over run with criminals.

In Game: Well I guess the smugglers and bounty hunters of the world need some place to hang out. Could be the smuggler starting area, I’m not exactly following if they’ve mentioned that kind of thing yet. Seems like half suburban half military outpost from the screen shots. Mountainous terrain. The mountain planet!

Pros: I’ve always wanted to see Ord Mantell, I’m not kidding when I say it gets mentioned a lot. Can’t remember if it’s in any games. The corrupt government being on the republics side seems like an interesting storyline twist.
Cons: A civil war going on while the galaxy is at war seems a little unnecessary. How many wars do we need exactly? It’s like if Indianna had a civil war during the american civil war. Don’t you think you’ve got enough going on?

Coruscant: The capital of the republic. A city world with giant sky scrapers and trillions of citizens. The center of power and politcs.

In Game: Spam Spam Spam, not only will you be doing all your auctioning here, you’ll also be doing all your /ignore functions amongst the giant buildings. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out all Republicans will be made to hang out here for various reasons.

Pros: Well if you’re going to have a central city, can you do better than Coruscant? I like the idea of the rich and powerful living at the tops of the highest buildings while the poor and impoverished live in the depths, not even in sight of natural light. It always makes for a great setting.
Cons: I want to see both sides of Coruscant, not just shiny towers and clean aesthetics. Also, republicans will be called republicans, I just realized that. That sucks.

Balmorra: A factory world which although occupied by the Sith, and resisting with the help of the Republic, wants to be independent. It’s been mentioned here and there but I don’t think it’s ever really been explored before.

In Game: A factory world should make for a good setting. By the sounds of it republicans (ugh) will be fighting a lot of sith npcs on this planet. Expect lots and lots of droids.

Pros: I like playing as the resistance, covert operations are awesome.
Cons: I swear to god I love Star Wars, but the droid manufacturing plant scene in Attack of the Clones made me want to rip George Lucas’ head off and piss down his throat. Don’t get me started on what in the name of fucking hell were Threepio and Artoo doing there!? GROWL! God awful bullshit. Do not repeat!

Alderaan: The most famous world we’ve never seen, mostly because it gets blowed up real good in A New Hope. I’m interested to see what kind of vicious atrocity is so bad they all turn war-like, and then back to utterly peaceful again later in their history. Seems like that would be hard to pull off for pacifists.

In Game: I’m picturing the alps, aspen maybe. I wonder if there will be some form of Luge mini-game. It’ll be pristine and beautiful. The most beautiful in fact.

Pros: Eye candy. Plenty of history people might actually be interested in. Court intrigue, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Cons: Another civil war? Hey I guess you need conflict, whatever. Not looking forward to the constant snooty voice overs though.

Tatooine: The desert planet archetype. There are no other desert planets. Oh I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “What about Arrakis?” Fuck Arrakis! Okay yeah it came first and probably inspired Tatooine…

In Game: You’ll be fighting czerka’s scientific experiments gone mad, krayt dragons, dewbacks, jawas, Tusken Raiders, and more criminals. Also I think it might be a little brown.

Pros: Iconic. Try doing a Star Wars game without Tatooine. See how far that gets you. There is apparently a rule that you have to do every type of climate in your mmorpg so Tatooine definitely fits the desert bill.
Cons: I don’t wanna play in the sand! It’s so cliche! And couldn’t they have been more original!? I want to play on a desert planet that doesn’t reference the star wars universe! It should be called Desert Planet 1 and have no previous history, lore, or creatures to interact with! This sucks! I’m not playing TOR!

Dromund Kaas: The anti-Coruscant. Similar but different. A mix of opulence and grandeur, followed by ruins and trees. An interesting combination. The hang out for Imps.

In Game: Sithspam! Just like real spam only stronger in the dark side.

Pros: It makes for a good mirror and has only rarely made appearances in canon. It’s a virtual unknown. I had thought it completely invented by Bioware, but apparently not.
Cons: No real reference material to go on here, nowhere near the cache of Coruscant for instance.

Taris: Formerly a city world similar to Coruscant, now it’s a city ruin. Infested with rakghouls and with crumbling infrastructure the republic is trying to reestablish itself in the middle of war. Great idea Einsteins.

In Game: Nothing like a little nuclear holocaust to get your game blood flowing. Okay bombarded with lasers but whatever. Nothing will be working, but don’t worry, It’s Not Your Fault!

Pros: Nostalgia up the ass. I’m getting a little tired here, so I have ceased capitalizing things or coming up with good descriptions. In summary: Rakghouls are the shit. Post-apocalyptic fans will flee Fallen Earth in droves just for this one planet.
Cons: No pod racing? No class war? No droid shop or gambling dens? No awesome cinematic of the city being decimated by orbital bombardment?

Belsavis: In fiction it has a short history but TOR describes it as a prison planet that many Sith prisoners have been sent to. They’ve come to rescue them.

In Game: It sounds like a raid planet to me. Fierce creatures, sith alchemic objects, prisoners. Yeah I’m thinking it’s a dungeon.

Pros: Sounds like a pretty cool dungeon. Cleverly done Bioware, no krayt dragon lairs for you. This and Xim the Despot’s treasure horde I’m guessing.
Cons: Prison rape.

Voss: A completely original planet, I actually had to look it up. The fact that they had to come up with an all new planet with all new species seems to me to indicate a plot element at work here.

In Game: Mountainous and brown, I’m sensing a dungeon here too, but maybe I’m wrong. Definitely going to be a lot of story here.

Pros: I like new shit. I like how they’re setting the voss up as dangerous. Both sides having to win favor is interesting.
Cons: Hope it doesn’t disintegrate into some kind of faction thing.

That is what I have to say about the planets of TOR. As you can see it took quite some time to put some thought together on the subject so don’t crap all over my dreams okay? I know some of the information above is probably outdated, already thought of, and or wrong. Give me a break Star Wars nerds.