Lackadaisical Nomenclature

May 20, 2015 at 10:38 pm | Posted in Guild Wars 2, mmorpg, PvE | 1 Comment
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Arenanet has updated Lion’s Arch to show a rebuilding effort getting underway. Unfortunately it’s been over a year since Lion’s Arch was destroyed and I am one among many who are a little annoyed that this vibrant living world thing has left Lion’s Arch completely stagnant for so long. At this stage LA has been in ruins almost as long as it was not. While I’m happy to see signs of life, I feel like the blog post and survey were lacking.

For one the survey itself is just utterly devoid of creativity. These are the options we have to choose from? We play in a fantasy world filled with magic and we can fart confetti while transformed into river drake hatchlings but I can’t get any creative suggestions for a place name?

The first question concerns renaming the canal ward. City Central has no personality, has no history, and could not be more broad in it’s description. Commodore’s Quarter fares slightly better I suppose in that it reflects the city’s leadership position and history. King Doric’s Court on the other hand makes no sense whatsoever, while it reflects lore, why would pirates name a part of their city after the royal line of kryta which abandoned Lion’s Arch and moved to Divinity’s Reach? So we’re left with one hilariously safe option.

I chose: Commadore Quarter
Prediction: Commodore Quarter
Why: It’s the only one that even makes sense.

Question 2 leaves no doubt that they really want us to pick specific answers. Graidy’s Lighthouse is a reference to an NPC that died during the Battle for Lion’s Arch. That’s fine I guess, but it shines in comparison to Beacon Point. Get it? Shines? Like a lighthouse? Kind of like how Beacon Point is just another word for lighthouse? Clever! I won’t use as much sarcasm to describe how generic I think Phoenix Roost is.

I chose: Phoenix Roost. (I hated the others)
Prediction: Graidy’s Lighthouse
Why: People like the sentimentality of Graidy’s story.

We literally get only 2 terrible options for question 3. Lion’s Court and Festival Plaza. Putting aside Arenanet’s lackluster updates to festivals of late, putting aside that they ignore some of the other cities quite a bit and this makes it sound like that will continue, putting aside that Lion’s Court is the *current name* of that location and thus even less creative than you might have originally thought, isn’t Festival Plaza just way too on the nose? Maybe we should rename Lion’s Arch to Pirate Bay, or Fort Marriner to Fort Fort.

I chose: Lion’s Court
Prediction: Lion’s Court
Why: Who in their right minds feels Festival Plaza is a great name for a festival plaza?

We get to choose amongst 3 boring ass names for an airbase in Lion’s Arch for question 4. There’s Martial Aerodome, which denotes the military and an aerodome. Great. Lion’s Arch Aerodome, more of that patented Arenanet creativity that we saw with such naming successes as DragonHunter. Finally, Apex Aerodome, you know, because it’s up. Oh and forget about any possibility of not including the word aerodome because screw you guys. Not to go on too long about this but how hard is it to come up with some more creative ideas?

I mean it’s Lion’s Arch and it’s an airbase right? So here’s a little stream of thought. We’re thinking flying and we’re thinking lions and we get griffons. So maybe griffon aerodome or maybe something that reflects fighter squardrons from World War II like the Fighting Griffon Aerodome only let’s make it less high school football and more fantasy and change that to uhm, what were those griffons from Guild Wars 1 that everyone hates? Roaring Ethers. So maybe Roaring Griffon Aerodome. I include Aerodome because you know, apparently it’s not off the table.

I chose: Lion’s Arch Aerodome (at this point I had given up)
Prediction: Apex Aerodome
Why: You know, because it’s up.

The final question is about the replacement of the remembrance wall. Do we replace it with Theo Ashford Memorial? His character wasn’t really fleshed out so I’m not sure that name would evoke anything. Field of the Fallen has a nice sentiment but isn’t overly inspired. Forever Memorial just seems like a tangentially related word stuck with memorial.

I chose: Field of the Fallen
Prediction: Theo Ashford Memorial
Why: Again the sentimentality.

This was an interesting opportunity for Arenanet and I feel like they just flubbed it all up. They could have involved the writers, maybe asked for suggestions, maybe a contest, I mean if you’re going to involve the community go full tilt don’t throw some half-assed names up on survey monkey.

And the blog post itself. Argh. Where are the details? No release date, no suggestion of whether it might be released with Heart of Thorns or not, nothing on whether it comes with a new living story update and nothing about further Living Story updates period. But hey if you guys want to plan your own little community events to keep yourself busy I’m sure Arenanet would think that is awesome! Don’t let the complete lack of a date keep you from organizing hundreds of people to show up to your community event to celebrate the new Lion’s Arch!

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