Keynesian Economics

June 14, 2014 at 6:40 pm | Posted in Guild Wars 2, mmorpg, PvE | 1 Comment
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keyfarming2

Many Guild Wars 2 players, such as myself, rage at the rarity and RNG of the cash shop item, the Black Lion Chest Key. A key when used in conjunction with the plentiful Black Lion Chest often rewards Cash Shop items such as boosters, convenience items, and makeover kits. But the reason many players save a character slot solely for the purpose of recreating new characters over and over to collect a Black Lion Key (rewarded at the end of the first arc of personal story) are Black Lion Claim Tickets.

Black Lion Claim Tickets (or Black Lion Claim Scraps, 10 of which become a Ticket) can be exchanged with an NPC for rare and valuable skins. These skins often cost between 50g to 100g depending on their availability and popularity.

With this post I hope to examine a few of the key steps, key steps I say, key, in farming keys.

Devise a cunning pun or clever key farming name.

This is probably the most important step. Having an unused character slot goes without saying, so your first step should be to spend a few days thinking up a truly terrible key pun or clever reference. My friend CSquirrelRun uses the name Lady Keysmeer, Spirit uses Doctor Legendary as an allusion to her goals and her podcast. I’ve seen names like Qui-Gon Djinn, Keyanu Reeves, Black Eyed Keys, Keybler Elf, and Commander Keyne. This is the level of excellence you should be striving for.

Now perhaps you’ll tire of your key name at some point, or perhaps it will take you some time to settle on a good name. I myself typically use the name Cobblebot, both due to the robotic and repetitive nature of farming keys, and as a slight reference to Oswald Cobblepot, a notorious criminal and reference to the slightly unethical nature of key farming. However I do tire of this name occasionally and just today lazily threw in the name Key Farming is Wrong.

Unfortunately that’s just the sort of name I’d advise against. Names such as Keys Keys Keys, or Getakey, or KeyFarmer, or No More WorldXP Boosters Pls are utterly without merit, creatively bankrupt, and shameful. To the key farming community, I plead with you, we must do better.

Get the Digital Deluxe.

You’ve got to spend money to make money. An old adage that is as true as often as it isn’t. For expert farmers time is a commodity not worth wasting, and instantaneous access to your strategically pimped out and carefully stored level 1 runed up armour pieces and weapon is a must. How will I defeat the human tutorial champion centaur with one hit if I wait until after the tutorial to get my gear? And then an even further delay by traveling to the bank (ha!) in order to get them? Madness.

The 2 week banker golem that comes with the DD is a luxury key farmers can not do without. It’s sent to every new character you make. As well, the Hero’s Band ring is an added bonus that shouldn’t be overlooked.

Look ugly or fantastic.

I think if you’re playing a character that has a life span of about a half hour, you should make a fashion statement. The most permanent thing your character will ever have is it’s armour, so lets grab peoples attention with loud colours and the ugliest armour set you can think of. I use the Heritage set you get from the Hall of Monuments, free to transmute for the cheaper key farmer.

However I do have an extensive number of dungeon tokens from some dungeons, so a Crucible of Eternity dungeon set for my key farmer isn’t out of the question.

Bobblehead Legolas and Ugly Joe go Key Farming

Bobblehead Legolas and Ugly Joe go Key Farming

Save time and sanity.

The average run for a key farmer is around 20 to 30 minutes. So the best way to keep yourself from going insane while spending 30 minutes farming up a key that is potentially worthless is to spend that time figuring out how to go faster.

Here’s a few suggestions

– The only choices you need to make in character creation are human, warrior/guardian, and commoner storyline, so if you don’t come out looking like Legolas, you’re doing it wrong.
– Any way you can increase power is great for killing things so get out that little girl’s doll and stuff it down your pants like Cobiah Marriner taught us.
– Cheating is allowed. Shaemoor garrison gates closed and you have to wait? Jump into the water and run around the side, you can make the cut-scene and get out of the tutorial without ever striking a blow.
– Guild Wars 2 is known for its beautiful loading screens. Don’t exit an instance without pulling up the map and waypointing to your next objective.
– Guardians have a speed buff they can unlock on the staff’s third skill. Use it to save entire seconds worth of time.
– The buddy system can save you loads of time. Find someone with a one track mind who likes to load in and run everywhere faster than you, then just sit back and let them start and finish every instance.
– Low level foods are worthless right? Not here my friend. Buy up that Grilled Steak and judge for yourself if you need it.
– Unlock skills, don’t unlock skills, it doesn’t really matter.

Forget not.

After you’ve reached level 10 and received your Black Lion Key, please take the time to sort your inventory. Never forget to return your painstakingly specialized gear to the bank, including the precious Polla as she is unique and impossible to acquire again.

Selling your mountains of acquired loot and salvaged soulbound items can make you 1’s of silver.

And remember the next time you need this character slot, everything left on the character will be destroyed, so collect your things and burn it to the ground.

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1 Comment

  1. […] Hunter’s Insight — Keynesian Economics. “Many Guild Wars 2 players, such as myself, rage at the rarity and RNG of the cash shop item, the Black Lion Chest Key. A key when used in conjunction with the plentiful Black Lion Chest often rewards Cash Shop items such as boosters, convenience items, and makeover kits. But the reason many players save a character slot solely for the purpose of recreating new characters over and over to collect a Black Lion Key (rewarded at the end of the first arc of personal story) are Black Lion Claim Tickets.” […]


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