QFT: April 1st Edition

April 1, 2011 at 8:37 pm | Posted in Guild Wars, Guild Wars 2, mmorpg | 11 Comments
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Welcome to the Guild Wars 2 universe Commando

On past April Fools, Arenanet has typically done a few specific things. They reskinned your character so that you looked different. A sex change, stick figure, chibi gwen, or the size of a mini (with your mini’s being the size of you). They also usually had a humourous Guild Wars skill update, which fooled more than a few people over the years.

This year they went all out, releasing one of the most impressive game industry jokes I’ve seen this year. Check out the trailer below.

That’s right! The 8th and final profession turns out to be the Commando! Swing by the Guild Wars 2 homepage, to check out the profession page. I think my favourite part here was definitely either the commando being able to wield a scepter in its main hand, or the vehicles.

A commando can opt for an armored personnel carrier (APC) or a tank for land travel, a helicopter for air travel, or a submarine for undersea travel.

They didn’t just stop with a simple video either. They ganged up with PCGamer, Games On Net, OnlineWelten, and Game Reactor to release interviews about the Commando. Well worth the read.

He can do a lot of damage, he can be a healer, and then, quite literally, a tank, when he hops into his tank.

Jeez, even in fantasy land we get stone walled on details.

PC Gamer: Can the Commando go commando?

Jon Peters: That’s something we’re not talking about yet.

At least the items that the thief can steal from a commando seem pretty cool.

The list of things that the thief can steal from a commando in order of most common to least common is as follows: MRE, Grenade, Tank, Aircraft Carrier, and Nuclear Missile.

It’s good to know that the commando will have at least one major weakness.

Their one weakness is fear of commitment. A commando doesn’t like to get too involved. Of course they are overpowered in PvP, just like all other professions.

Just ask to keep a drawer in their apartment and bam, break up city.

But why a commando?

“Most massively multiplayer online RPG’s only appeal to fans of the fantasy genre, so our primary objective in creating this class has been to reach all the gamers out there who are only interested in games such as Call of Duty and Battlefield,”

It all makes sense now.

Sheer brilliance involved in putting this screen shot together

But wait! What happened to the 7th profession? Well it can be found here.

Therefore, by level 13, the shadowmancer is effectively immune to damage. This ability comes with a price however. Because this ability makes most of PvE rather easy, a shadowmancer only receives a small portion of experience from all sources.

Who knew they’d blow out the last two professions on the same day?

But Wait! You thought there would only be 8 professions? Wrong! Here is the 9th profession of Guild Wars 2.

The German to English translation here is not the best, so I’ll wait for Arenanet to release an English version of our 9th profession.

Profession news wasn’t the only thing we got today though because Guild Wars 2 Guru acquired an exclusive interview with Arenanet that reveals some shockingly awesome information.

Given that the GW2 beta is scheduled for late August 2012, ArenaNet wanted to give everyone a head start on purchasing their iPads. Wait, what did you just say? That’s right, folks. Guild Wars 2 will be releasing exclusively to the iPad!

I wasn’t going to go out and get an iPad but now I have to.

Arenanet didn’t concentrate on Guild Wars 2 of course, they still have a little game called Guild Wars to pay attention to and they did not disappoint. Although this year they didn’t have any reskinning, They did have a new quest. In the quest you get to play as, wait for it, a commando!

It all started with this brief entertainment in chat. Thanks to IncGamers and Scutilla.

At which point, an update was added to Guild Wars and a new quest became available from Embark Beach. It’s all much more entertaining to go see it for yourself of course, but to sum up it is a very funny quest in the style of the Keiran quests from Hearts of the North. It also functions as a parody of a very well known movie. So go have fun with that, read the dialogue and quest text when you have a chance, and then go websurfing because we’re not done.

Guild Wars also added a skill update, as is tradition.

Highlights include:

Mind Craft: “For the next 4…15 seconds, your attacks deal Earth damage. Deals +40 bonus damage and knocks down if you have a pickaxe equipped.”

Generous Spirit: “Create a level 1…18 Generous Spirit. Whenever a foe nearby the spirit uses a skill, that foe and all foes in the area donate 250 gold to your party.”

The Black Beast of Arrgh now appears only on Friday when the next day is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards.

Players can now preview the jumping mechanic from Guild Wars 2 by typing “/jump” in the chat panel.

And, that for the most part, is that. There are plenty of other little things to be found here and there, including my own post, which at least one person was completely fooled by, or masterfully responded to.



  1. The quality and in-depthness (go new word!) of Anets work on this has made me smile a laugh all day. Good job to all those involved in creating this.

    • They really went the extra mile, kudos to them.

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  3. incredibly funny April fool. i must say and it looks like a lot of work.

    • and that new krytan font!?

    • Martin said something along the lines that much of the work was done in their off time too, a lot of dedication there.

      the new font, i forgot to mention it. nice work on that whoever put it together.

  4. I think I enjoyed ArenaNet’s efforts (both GW2 and GW1) more than everyone else’s combined.

    So, will GW3 see modern day tech added to the game world? 🙂

    • There was a lot of good stuff out there this year, and i can honestly say arenanets was some of the best.

      You’d be surprised how many speculative comments i’ve heard about gw3 being sci-fi after the commando.

  5. I particularly like the Black beast of arggh update lol. Somehow I knew a Rebecca black joke would be in there some where, lol.

    • they would be wrong to leave her out. what is april fools without current pop culture jokes.

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